Happy Thanksgiving, and Last Chance to Tell Cancer to Suck It.

Happy Thanksgiving!  Know what I'm thankful for? Not having prostate cancer. Let's get some more donations so even more guys can be thankful for that next year.  So we are in the last couple of days of Movember and my donation count is still sitting at a respectable $110.  That's a really solid number, but it's not enough to end prostate cancer.  Donate here: http://us.movember.com/mospace/1020992/ you can donate as little as $2 and every little bit helps.  In the mean time, ladies bug your guys to get checked.  Guys, go to the doctor and get checked if you're over 35 and feel your nuts.

If they look or feel like this, go see a urologist immediately.

So help the cause, donate a little and help a lot.  Here's an update picture so you can tremble while beholding the awesomeness of my 'stache.  Enjoy!

I know what you're thinking, Freddy Mercury is dead.  That's me up there!

Back to Thanksgiving.  I've always enjoyed holidays for the gluttony associated with them.  Memorial day has the BBQ and grilling, same with Independence Day, Labor Day and pretty much any summer holiday.  It's always a good time, you eat a few too many hot dogs and burgers and you're on your way.  The only problem with summer holidays is it's all the same.  The only holiday that has any special food dedicated to it is Independence day, and it's not much different except the dessert.  But Thanksgiving.

Best Thanksgiving picture ever.

Ah, the turkey, the stuffing, the cranberries.  The whole meal is built around stuff you only eat once a year.  Who gets a craving for green bean casserole other than around the holidays?  Who the hell takes the time to roast a turkey more than once a year?  I made a small 11 pounder this year and it took like 3 1/2 hours.  I don't have time to do that shit more than once a year.

Delicious, but time consuming

My main complaint with the Thanksgiving holiday is all the bullshit about Black Friday and shopping and all that nonsense.

10% off? I'm fucking there!

Do people really get that excited over these discounts?  Do they even understand what value their time has?  Although if they can wait in line for days on end, maybe their time is worthless.  It's no surprise to anyone that knows me that I used to work retail.  It was pretty damn crazy 2 years ago when I did it and it's only gotten worse.  I used to have to go in at 5am on black Friday to be open by 6 and now pretty much all malls open at midnight.  It's gotten so out of hand that this year I heard about Sears opening on Thanksgiving day for a few hours in a bunch of locations.

Where our customers are more important than our employee's home lives.

The other thing that's been pissing me off is the way the news likes to do the same damn story the Wednesday before Thanksgiving every year.  We get it, the airport is busy.  People travel.  What part of this is news?  Next thing you know, they'll be reporting to us that fish can swim and water is wet.

Holy shit! Why wasn't I made aware of this sooner?

And how about those airline peanuts?  Just in case I wasn't being enough of a hack comedian for you.  In all honesty, I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving because the end of the year will be here before you know it.  This time of year always goes by incredibly fast, so remember to take a minute every now and then and think about the true meaning of the season.  Preparing for the 2012 apocalypse.  Here's a handy countdown timer!  Far be it from me to mock anyone's beliefs, but come on.  Enjoy yourself, indulge too much and have a great first week of December.  But most importantly, click the link to donate! http://us.movember.com/mospace/1020992/ Either one!  Multiple options!  You can even use PayPal if you don't trust banks!  We may not have a catchy slogan like save the tatas, and no one ever said "wow, look at the prostate on that guy" but prostate cancer should be as big an issue to men as breast cancer is to women.  I sacrificed my face to raise awareness (and to look awesome), what have you done?  The best nation in the world is urination donation. Do it here: http://us.movember.com/mospace/1020992/