The Clientele covers M.I.A.

This is awesome, it's like the 60's adopted a psycho Indian weed smoker.  I've never even thought about this being a psychedelic song, but hey whatever works.  Thanks go to AV club.  Visit them at http://www.avclub.com/.

More audible awesomeness, Neutral Milk Hotel covered by Swell Season.  I love when there's indie rock chemistry between two unrelated bands.  Although I do fear that just knowing who these bands are makes me a hipster.  Damn it.


The Swell Season covers Neutral Milk Hotel

Now that I've let some good music make sweet, sweet love your your ear holes, time to get to the rage.

Is it me or does the word "blog" sound like something you should be ashamed of?

"I have to go blog"
"dude, i totally didn't need to know that."

Seriously, is there any point you can try to make that Google image search can't make more clear for you?  

Seeing as how this is supposed to be me shitting on things that piss me off, I'm gonna talk to you a little today about crappy drivers.  I don't want to veer into hack comedian territory here.  

as if to prove my point, the number 1 google image for "hack comedian"

I mean I'm pretty damn sure everything that can be said on this subject has been.  People who drive faster than you are maniacs and the people who drive slower than you are mongoloids who should be sterilized to prevent their seed from polluting the earth...have I said too much?  

But seriously, what makes this so difficult for people to understand?  The speed limits are derived by civil engineers who use complicated formulas to determine what the safe speeds are for streets that maximize efficient travel through a city.  This is even more true on surface streets than it is on freeways and interstates.  if you go the speed limit eventually you will get through town without catching very many red lights, they plan it that way!  I swear I'm not just screwing with you, I have a buddy who's a civil engineer.  He hates his life.  That may or may not be related.  

The point I'm trying to make is that by speeding, all you are doing is fucking up the timing of the lights and making it harder for yourself to make it to your destination in a reasonable time.  As for you slow fuckers, go the speed limit.  Why are you intent on slowing everyone down?  I know from anecdotal evidence some of the people who drive painfully slow do it because they are physically incapable of going the speed limit.  My Grandpa drove far longer than he should and was probably legally blind for a large part of his driving career.  I'm not saying that makes it ok, far from it.  I think people over the age of 60 should be required to retake their driving test, both practical and written, annually.  And this is coming from a guy who took driver's ed in a bar!

if it was this classy, maybe I'd be a better driver

I'm not joking, I went to Chamisa school of driving in the Chamisa Inn bar.  If that sentence doesn't make you fear for your life, you are a braver person than I.  I'm sick of venting about this subject because I feel like this subject has been done to death.  Let's move on shall we?

In the world of things that make me happy and piss me off at the same time, football is back this weekend.  I love football.  The pure competition, the unbridled violence, unpredictable, fun fast, potentially game changing plays on every down.  I'll watch just about any football game you can provide me with over just about anything else on TV.  I'm a sports fan though, and I can't help but feel like the douchebag over analyzers are ruining the game a little for me. 

1st Google image search result for "douchbag announcer"

I watch as much football as I can any given Saturday and Sunday, I don't need to hear other people's opinions unless I ask for them.  This bullshit about in game analysis and op-ed pieces is grating.  Show me the fucking highlights and get the hell out of my way.  I don't care what Tony Dungy has to say about whether or not Peyton Manning is forcing his passes as a way to compensate because mama Manning loved Eli more.  

"which one is mom again?"

I blame the 24 hour news cycle.  God damn ESPN has to fill 24 hours 7 days a week and thus we get updates on how often Brett Favre mows his lawn and where Tom Brady got his Justin Bieber haircut.  Show me highlights, give me injury reports, give me previews and keep your opinions to your damn self unless I click on your links or ask you.  Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and nobody wants to hear what one has to say cuz they're all full of shit.  Wait, is that how that saying goes?

In Awesome news, the Chargers kickoff the season tomorrow in the late Monday night game against the Chiefs and if they don't win, I'll be super pissed off.  Thus is the dichotomy of football.  I love the game, but I get so pissed off when my team loses it's not even funny.  I've gotten better as I've gotten older, but the fact that they've never won a SuperBowl drives me nuts when you think about the badasses that played for them.  I started following the team when they were garbage, stuck with them through the ride to the SuperBowl when they got demolished by the insanely good 49ers, and even through the ryan leaf years.  That name stays uncapitalized

This is the face of human diarrhea

As usual at the start of the season, I'm cautiously optimistic.  Last year like half of the "experts" picked the Bolts to go to the big game, so I knew things wouldn't end well.  That's just how they roll.  But this year no one is picking them to get out of the first round of the playoffs and they are getting picked to win the west practically by default.  Hopefully that translates to less pressure and better play.  We'll see, but I'm going to do my best to temper my expectations and just take it one game at a time.  If the god awful D-backs have proven anything to me this season, it to just enjoy the games and remember that there's always next season.  Wait, someone just told me there might be a holdout or lockout and there might not be a 2011 season.  OH MY GOD, WE NEED TO WIN IT ALL THIS YEAR!!  

As always, visit my wife's shop, she's got awesome stuff and isn't angry like this dude I know.  http://www.stonepapermetal.etsy.com.  All proceeds go to help feed abandoned animals.  Kind of.  We have a dog we got at the pound, and it helps feed him, so it's still a good cause.  

Next week, I'll bitch about MMA and whatever else pisses me off.