When I started this exercise in vanity, I said it was going to be a weekly endeavor. Hence the title. As time has gone by and life decided to start treating me like its own personal hacky sack, this has taken a back seat to more important things like drinking beer and avoiding my emotions. Seems like every month has been a new and incredibly annoying set of difficulties. February's clusterfuck involved my goddamn car.
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| more or less my car last month. |
I drive a Saab, which sounds like a good thing. Foreign, good looking, turbo, all words associated with Saab, usually in a positive manner. From experience, I can tell you that exactly one of those adjectives is a good thing. The damn thing was idling rough for a couple of days, so I took it to my usual repair shop to see what the fuck was going on and get the oil changed. The guys run a diagnostic and find that there's a problem with a vacuum hose and there's a problem with the mass airflow sensor. Namely, the fucking thing didn't work anymore.
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| Get a fucking job!!! |
So since a car needs one of those to run without fucking up the engine, and Saab parts are only shipped directly from the outer reaches of the crab nebula, it would be five days before they had the part to fix my damn car. As such, I was forced to rent a car. After doing my due diligence and researching prices and availability from a rental place near home and work, I settled on Enterprise. They provided me with a car and I went about my business as usual. The day before my car was supposed to be done, I jumped in my rental and noticed the motherfucking rental had a long ass crack in the windshield. Once I noticed, my first thought was "shit, Enterprise is going to find a way to fuck me on this." Little did I know how right I'd be.
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| ...then bend you over and ruin your day! |
When my car is finally ready I head to the Enterprise to drop off the rental and go get my car. I let them know about the crack, and tell them I have a $0 glass deductible on my insurance policy. I call my insurance and get a claim started, but before I can go get my car, they tell me that they have to charge me $250 that will be reimbursed when they are reimbursed by my insurance company. I say I understand and proceed to get my car from the shop. They seem to have done a great job and everything is working fine. But don't get me started on the new random shit that's going wrong with my car. That's a whole other blog post. Anyway, I keep track of the claim with my insurance company, and get nothing in return from Enterprise. I send an email to their claims line, and get no response. Not even a fucking courtesy "we received your email" auto return. Finally, last Monday I received a check in the mail for $41. That's not a fucking typo. The asshats kept $209 of my dollars when I have a $0 glass deductible. After multiple calls I finally got a response and they told me the refund would have to come from my insurance. I'm still waiting to hear back about what the fuck happened to my money, but I assure you that tomorrow someone at Enterprise is getting a tongue lashing (and not the good kind) if I don't get a response about my fucking money.
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| Yep, more like that. |
The end of the story is yet to be resolved, but that helps let you know about the comedy of errors that has been my life for the last several months. Wait, comedy is supposed to be funny, I guess that means my life is just an error. Wow, that's way more depressing. I guess I'll wait to hear from the 3 people who actually read this to find out if it's funny, and then we can make a decision.
