Ironically, this is not a blog about the Rage in the Cage MMA promotion, but it IS going to talk about cage fighting. As has become a tradition when I have nothing better than watching fighting on the TV while everyone else is out enjoying themselves, I will be watching MMA and bitching about whatever pops into my head.
Not Bitchin', bitching.
Tonight's feature is UFC on FX. I mentioned it a while back, but the UFC and the Fox networks have a new agreement that leads to WAY more fights being on my television and making for a very happy fight fan. Now, as all 3 of you who read this on a regular basis know, I watch way too much fighting and I do way too much running. Last weekend my 2 passions intersected and left me on the horns of a dilemma.
Yep, just like that.
Last Saturday was UFC Rio featuring a crapload of Brazilian fighters teeing off against mostly American fighters. Now, I know most of you are probably saying "Hey, enough about the fighting already! I come here for the funny pictures and dick jokes." And you're right, normally on a Saturday I'm more than happy to hit up Buffalo Wild Wings and watch dudes pummel each other until my eyes bleed, but last weekend I was also running in the PF Chang's Rock n' Roll 1/2 marathon on Sunday. And I had to be there at the ass crack of dawn to run 13.1 miles.
Yep, that one.
Since I had an early morning and the fights were live from Brazil, of course they were an hour later than usual. This brings me to the dilemma. Go out, watch fights, drink beer and have fun? Or go home, be responsible, and be ready to run the race? Naturally my reaction was to try to split the difference. I hit the bar for the fights and promised I'd take it easy on the junk food and beer, and for the most part I succeeded. Eating a burger topped with pulled pork counts as taking it easy, right? (Also 6 wings) But the way I see it, I needed the calories. Also, shut up. I did manage to take it easy on the beer, I only had 2 over the course of the show. For all intents and purposes, this was a successful night. I was in bed by 10:30 and up in plenty of time to make the race. I felt great race day in spite of the fact that I was nursing knee injuries from the Vegas 1/2 marathon in December and couldn't have been happier that I got to see Edson Barboza deliver one of the most brutal head kick knockouts I've ever seen, and I got to see Jose Aldo demolish Chad Mendes with a knee.
Pictured: Me, somewhere
As the race starts, I feel great. My knees are feeling solid, my pace is good, and I'm maintaining what I expect of myself. About 2 miles in, everything starts to go to shit. I have to piss like a pregnant lady, my knees are hurting like I'm Nancy Kerrigan in 1994. I just compared myself to women, and I stand by that comparison. Don't judge me.
Quick sidebar, Josh Neer has a head full of concrete. In a good way. I'm pretty sure he has Homer Simpson Syndrome. He just got punched in the head and looked like he was about to get knocked out only to rally and choke Duane "Bang" Ludwig unconscious.
Josh Neer's xray.
Back to the race. I stopped to take a leak, got back on the road, and tried to tough out the knee pain. I worked through and managed to maintain a pace to finish under 2 hours. A little behind what I wanted but still respectable. Somewhere around mile 9, the pain went from "meh" to 'HOLY SHIT STOP STABBING ME IN THE KNEES!" and I had to swallow my pride and walk. For roughly 3 or 4 miles I alternated running (poorly) and walking (also poorly). The only bright spot of the end of the race is that I was able to suck it up and force myself to kick for the last 2/10 of a mile. For those of you unfamiliar with racing, a kick is where you unload everything you have left in your body in an effort to finish with a better time. I sprinted hard during my kick and passed several people who had passed me at my lowest point, and finished in around 2 hours 5 minutes. I can't say I'm happy with that time, but all things considered, it could have been worse. My real frustration is that in December I had a personal best and this month I had a personal worst. I'm proud of myself for not quitting, but dammit, it sure would have been nice to run the entire thing. At the finish line, I got my free beer, rested, stretched, and limped my ass to the light rail train after meeting a friend who had a diametric opposite race in the full marathon.
Aaaannnnddd, that's the story of last weekend. I limped around the rest of the day, shopping for groceries and that's about it. I just accidentally started watching Dragonball: Evolution. What a piece of shit! Seriously, I'm pretty sure I've left better movies in the toilet. The sad thing is, I'm pretty sure I'm going to stick it out and see what happens. I'm a glutton for punishment!
Oh, hello. I didn't see you standing there, looking at me with that longing in your eyes. Reminding me how badly you've been neglected. I'm sorry baby, it's just that...things have been hectic lately. I didn't mean to ignore you, and I promise things will be better this time around.
...That may not have been appropriate. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that it's been a long time since I've updated this shitshow. I have my reasons, but goddamn it, they're none of your business, internet. Suffice to say, I'm really fucking happy that it's no longer 2011. I sit here watching Strikeforce, drinking a beer like so many blogs I've written before. But as I always say, sharks don't look back because sharks don't have necks.
Boom, callback.
It's in that spirit of 80's ness that I resubmit for your casual dismissal, The Week in Rage. Your favorite (?) semi-weekly rambling regarding whatever the hell happens to be passing through my mind as I sit around bored on a weekend evening. Now, since I'm going out a lot more on weekends the only thing I can promise regarding this relaunch is that it will be even more sporadic and even less coherent. Have you ever tried blogging while high on synthetic weed? Me neither, but this guy has, and it doesn't sound pretty. What was I talking about again? Ah, yes. Futurama! Since my...sabbatical from this blog, a lot of good tv has come and gone. I think at some point I wrote about tv, but I have since re-evaluated whatever stance I had on it at the time and now I think it's awesome. No one cares what tv shows I like, but fuck you because I'm writing this so you're going to listen to EVERYTHING I HAVE TO SAY!
Ahem. Anyway, allow me to give you my short list of shows you should watch if you don't want to suck in 2012. These are in no particular order, just whatever happens to pop into my head.
30 Rock
Great writing, very funny, Alec Baldwin. The only 3 things you need to know about it, and it's still solid!
Community
Probably gonna get cancelled soon, so catch it while you can. Additionally, Donald Glover is on it, and he's Childish Gambino. If you don't like Childish Gambino, I don't know if we can be friends.
Justified
FX, so they can say "shit" and it's well acted and fantastically scripted so that helps too. Federal agent fights crime in the deep south where he grew up.
Archer
Duh.
The Walking Dead
Not always good, but when it's good it's awesome.
Boardwalk Empire
Holy shit, if you didn't see the end of last season, finish watching it so we can talk about it!
American Dad
Pretty much the only good reason to keep watching Fox cartoons at this point. And this is coming from a massive Simpsons fan.
Futurama
See above
The Venture Brothers
One of the most consistently funny, smart shows I've ever seen. Even better, it's a show that doesn't forget everything it said in the last episode. Their sense of history is second to none.
Parks and Recreation
There's not a character on the show that I don't like. That's hard to do.
Game of Thrones
They built the standard very high, it'll be interesting to see if they can maintain the level of quality.
Louie
It's not always funny, but it's always fantastic.
Breaking Bad
Do I even need to explain this one?
Homeland
The best new show of last year. Amazing acting, seat gripping plotting.
The League
Hilarious, disgusting, very fun. I'm new to this one and couldn't be happier a friend turned me onto it.
Beavis and Butt-Head
A classic reborn! It's more the same than ever, but in a good way.
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
There's no one I like watching more that I'd like less in real life.
I'm sure I forgot like a million other shows that I love, but you know what? I think that's a good thing. That means there's actually stuff worth watching on! Punctuation marks.!? You know what I think is missing from the common usage? The interrobang. I don't have one on my keyboard do you?! (By the way, this is an interrobang)
It basically means "Whaaaa!?!?!"
Now for the least graceful transition ever, I've been running a lot lately, averaging 2 races per month of various distances. I've also been to Austin, TX, Kona, HI, Las Vegas, NV, and Santa Fe, NM in the past 3 months. Needless to say I've been busy. I posted a personal best in Vegas on a half marathon, and I have another half next week (which I'll be lucky to finish in less than 2 1/2 hours). The hard thing for me about being a runner is how much I love doing stuff that hurts my running. I love beer, I love eating, I love tv, I'm basically a pop culture maven.
pictured: me if I ever stop running
The main thing that keeps me running is that it keeps me feeling consistently good, while all that other stuff only makes me feel good for short periods of time. The sense of accomplishment and the endorphin rush I get from a long run is more or less incomparable. At least in terms of things you can do alone.
I guess the fact that I've been staring at the screen with nothing else to type for like 15 minutes means that's the end of this blog. Thanks for actually getting to this part. I don't know why I actually do this thing, to be honest. Every time I check my stats and I have pageviews I'm surprised. I think I'm just doing this to get the shit in my head out and on a page. No one wants to hear this and if I have a conversation about it I have to listen to conflicting viewpoints. Who wants to do that (interrobang goes here)
