So it's been a while since I've written anything and I'm sure you my loyal (read: nonexistent) readers assume some pretty marvelous things must be going on in my life to keep me from updating this little personal vanity project. I assure you, nothing could be further from the truth. You know what's been going on with me? Well, let's see. First there was this:
That doesn't look like a rhino to me
That's right. The common cold. Stupid thing knocked me flat on my ass for a week, and I'm still dealing with excess mucus. I hadn't been sick in over a year, and then this little bastard gets in my body and I actually have to miss half a day of work. I don't want to give off the impression that I'm some kind of workaholic or anything, I don't care for workahol anymore than the next person. It's just that in sales, if you aren't making calls, you aren't making money.
Pictured: my profession
So anyways, I muscle through and by the next weekend I'm feeling pretty good. I'm back to my usual workout routine and come Saturday, I make my way to the field to run bleachers and such. It should be noted that my masochism is based solely on the idea that pain can make you faster. So far, the results suggest a "maybe" as the answer. I think my weakened body betrayed me because next thing you know, I miss a step and get one of these:
This isn't the kind of pain I wanted from the field.
I walk a half a lap thinking "OW, it's not that bad, I can totally just walk th SHIT, OW! No, I think it's getting better, I should be able to FUCK! Is my ankle always that swollen?" so I cut my workout short and gimp my ass home. I spend the rest of the night icing and elevating hoping for the best. By the way, if you ever sprain your ankle, don't be a dumbass. Toughing it out will only incur more damage and delay your recovery significantly. If you think you've sprained your ankle, follow these simple steps to help speed your healing time. That being said, the next day my wife, some friends and I went to...
The Chandler Ostrich Festival! It's basically a small carnival with some giant birds. It was fun, my ankle didn't kill me, and we managed to not spend all of our money. All in all, it was a great waste of time for a Sunday afternoon. That night, a very good client of my wife asked to take us out to dinner.
Did you know this guy has a restaurant?
The food was fantastic, the company was great, and the leftovers the next day kicked the crap out of a frozen dinner I would have had otherwise. Since then, things have settled down. Oh, wait. That's not what happened. My wife caught my cold, had it turn into bronchitis, Japan got hit with an earthquake, then a tsunami, THEN a nuclear reactor leak, we bombed Libya, and did you hear about this guy?
Meh
I have always said that I don't proofread, I also don't read my old self-fellating indulgences blog entries. But I do believe that I FUCKING TOTALLY CALLED THIS! That's Randy Quaid, right? Charlie Sheen, you say. Well, I touched on him too. My point is, there's no need to revisit that particular dung heap, as I've already stepped right in that shit and scraped it off my shoe. The problem is, everyone is forgetting that when a spoiled kid is being annoying, the best thing you can do is ignore it. That or beat it. I guess what I'm saying is someone needs to beat Charlie Sheen, then ignore him.
Hey, you know what was a pretty good movie? Megamind. I just watched that and enjoyed it more than I thought I would. Great animation, solid voice work, and very solid choices for the sound track. Were all the songs they used cliche? Absolutely, but they were also good songs instead of shit songs they usually use in cartoons. I give a large amount of credit to the crew at Dreamworks, as this is a trend I first noticed in Shrek, where they take good songs that are appropriate for the situations in the movie instead of just pap that they have the license to. On a semi-related note, I love that there are like 3 composers that get all the score work in hollywood. Seriously, next movie you watch pay attention and the odds are if the movie has any kind of budget either Hans Zimmer, Danny Elfman, or John Williams did the score for the damn thing. Don't believe me? Look:
Seriously, with those 3 guys you've got some of the most recognizable movie music ever. Clearly, as he is wont to do, Tim Burton has a major man crush on Danny Elfman, much as he does with Johnny Depp. But let's be honest, each of these guys has tied on to at least one director who defaults to them as the person to provide the sonic accompaniment to their vision. It's like they're kindred spirits in art, inseparable in that each can only provide half, and yet without that other half they will never be whole. Wow, that was some late night poetic waxing. I'm sure I'm overthinking this shit, but both media are so powerful, and I think it's cool that they work in the opposite fashion of most people. Most people are inspired by music, using music to drive them to higher levels of performance. This isn't just personal opinion, there are studies that back it up. That's why music video directors are hack movie directors for the most part. Just look at McG's entire career. But movie composers work the opposite way. They draw their inspiration from essentially the spoken word. I just realized how weird this is getting. I think I started by talking about my cold. Whatever. There are fights on tv to watch, and a beer in the fridge that's calling my name. Hope your weekend doesn't suck, and we'll see if I can turn this back into a weekly thing now that I'm relatively healthy.
